some laughablesI like to think myself as an optimist with a reality chaser. I know glass is half full. I just want to know who the hells been drinking out of it, and do I have to pay full price?
Well, honey, look at the bright side
What bright side?
Jeez, honey, its just an expression.
cheer up! the worst is yet to come!
Alright enough about me, lets talk about you. What do you think of me?
Shes incredibly organized. She folds her underwear like origami.
The older you get, the better you get – unless you are a bananaIf you die in the elevator, be sure to push the up button.
Change is inevitable, unless its from a vending machine.I lent a friend of mine ten thousand dollars for plastic surgery and now I dont know what he looks like.
The fastest way to a mans heart is through his chest.
We are all worms, but I do believe im a glow-worm
The ad in the paper says, BIG SALE, LAST WEEK. Why advertise, I already missed it, they are just rubbing it in.
I love mathematics! Add a bed, minus the clothes, divide our legs and multiply!
Just look at that woman. Shes practically a skeleton.
Oh my, thats anorexia nervosa
Oh dahling, you know everyone!
(Anorexia nervosa is a psychological term for eating disorder.)
Im a genius, but im a misunderstood genuius.
Oh whats misunderstood about you?
Nobody thinks im a genius.
I told my psychiatrist I have suicidal tendencies. From now on, I have to pay in advance.
I think racism is a terrible thing. I think we should hate each other on an individual basis.
Doctor doctor, I cant pronounce my Fs Ts and Hs.
Well you cant say fairer than that then.are u laughing? i certainly hope so.but heres a last one:a friend asked me for updates on singapore, i told her national day was coming.coolness.
