ive always believed in achieving how much you put in, because for a reason or another, God is always fair in my mind, or at least im brought up believing in that. ironically, i know i think otherwise.
there are ppl who work so hard in their life and end up having nothing, yet there are people who need no effort to get what they want. is God fair??
sometimes i wonder which i group i should put myself in, and upon deep reflection, i realise im none of the two.
i mean i really dont remember the times i really did make an effort in my life to want something, all the while i was just fooled into thinking im working hard enough and hence i should deserve what i get. n perhaps because of this effortless life im leading, i was never rewarded with a great achievement, nor a great failure. i was always just there, hanging by the line. 2 frens reminded me of this horrible fact a week ago, and its only until now that i finally accept it, YES, i never did work hard enough to WANT. all i did was just to tap on my inborn ability to get by with my life.
sadly, i feeel too normal now, too normal that im startin to hate myself, i honestly do not want to become somebody who just die having nothing done in my life, not because i cant but because i never did try.
Is God fair? instead of pondering over this question, why not go in search of this answer? i guess a major part of your life should be spent looking for this key, this key that brings you enlightment or if you prefer, BLISS.
so while a million out there are working hard for something in their life, i just spent an entire day not doing anything, even though i know, theres so much waiting for me. YET AGAIN, im looking for the shortest way out to get by. last minute work would get me Bs but this time i know, i want As.
or do i??
the fact is, im scared, im too scared to fail to start working hard.
