todays mood: paranoia
been AGES ive updated. well partly because it really has been a boring mundane week, and theres really nothing much at allto talk about, except ive been busy with i-dunno-what. and nothing happy has really taken place too. this has been by far the most normal week ive had. no UPS, no DOWNs, but just busy waiting for time to pass. kinda sad. yes it is.
so im gonna write the first 10 random thoughts that comes to my mind from now on.
ok firstly. im outta band, which gives me more time, to do i-dunno-what. tat means no more playing, which makes everything even sadder.
secondly, im busy preparing for my 2nd hand sales project which will take place next week from monday onwards, so do keep a lookout and come grab cheapo stuffs yea?
thirdly, im sooooooooo behind school. no readings done, no french revising done, no projects started, no listening attentively during lectures, and blah blah blah. well. bad sem.
fourth-ly, ive decided to do something about my life other than talking about it. as ive realised how ppl dun take my words seriously and are waiting to see lead a normal life just like anybody everybody, so im stepping out.
whatever it takes.
fifth-ly, ive been sick and not recovering. as usual.
sixth-ly, im fighting an emotional battle. im losing confidence, controls, beliefs, and i think ive forgotten how to be happy me. so wish me luck before i fall into depression.
seventh-ly, i realised i really hate a boring life. and i really hate to be in a place where i noe ppl and ppl noe me. where ppl judge u with their beliefs, where ppl think they noe but they dont, where ppl take ur presence for granted, where ppl stop caring, where ppl dont speak as they feel, where ppl hide secrets, where ppl are hypocrites.
first time in my life, i wanna be somewhere else, a whole new world, where everything starts from zero, and when the same cycle comes, i'll fly somewhere else again. yes. its an escape, who doesnt?
eighth-ly, human genes are really not as superior as we think we are. seriously. i rather be an alien sometimes. humans are selfish. and everybody just care for themselves, thats sad but its true. they can ask "how is it going", " how are you" but ultimately they are thinking for themselves, making themselves feel better that they "care". but they dont. its really a world of
you-use-me-and-i-use-you, i've stop believing that theres even anyone out there born to be a supporting role his/her whole life, born to help others achieve and help others succeed, theres no such body and i refuse to be a supporting role too. i too, want to do something, for myself. period.
ninth-ly, i realised ive ran out of thoughts to write, thats how empty my brain is, aha. but then again isnt this a thought too?
last-ly, im just a pathetic soul. u noe it, and i noe it too.
ive never been as much truthful as today to myself, and just look at how pessimistic my thoughts were! well, time to get working and kick them out yea?
